Your values are emotional states that are important to you. They are ends versus means. Means are things like money, possessions, and degrees. These are all means to the end state of the value (love, achievement, connection, learning, making a difference, success…).
You also have values that you desire and want to move towards (I call these Towards Values – love, security, growing, adventure…), and things you want to avoid (I call these Away From States – loneliness, betrayed, stagnation, lack of freedom, unworthy, selfishness….).
Much of what we do and how we act is governed by RULES. Rules are often inherited through our family of origin’s practices, beliefs and norms. Rules can also be inherited from the culture you grew up in or the culture in which you reside. The potential issue with rules is that we often follow them unconsciously. We adopt them unchallenged. Worse, we then project these rules onto others, assuming that everyone has these same rules.
A belief is a feeling of confidence, trust, or faith in something. I like what Tony Robbins says, that “A belief is a feeling of certainty.”
You are what you believe yourself to be.
~ Paulo Coelho
But beliefs are not just thoughts. Your beliefs are embedded in your posture, your breath, your movements, gestures, sense of energy, field of awareness, focus, tone of voice, pacing, and more.
In relationship, our rules, roles, identity and agreements determine how we engage with others. Clarifying and agreeing on rules, identifying and calibrating roles, understanding how identities shift over time (e.g. having kids), and discussing implicit and explicit agreements can help those seeking stronger relationships.
Self-compassion is the ability to treat yourself with the same kindness, care, and understanding that you would offer a close friend, especially when facing personal struggles or setbacks. It involves recognizing that suffering and imperfections are a part of the human experience and responding to your own pain with warmth and acceptance rather than harsh judgment. Below is an overview of self-compassion by Dr. Kristin Neff, a Mind Gym audio I created, and an article by Dr. Stephen Hayes which looks at self-compassion vs. self-esteem.
Mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to the present moment without judgment. It involves focusing on your thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations as they occur, rather than getting carried away by them. This practice can be cultivated through meditation or incorporated into daily activities like walking or eating. Check out these 5 steps to improve mindfulness in your life.
An integrative approach to your development and well-being takes into account biological / physiological, psychological, and social / cultural aspects. This builds on Engel’s Biopsychosocial Theory (1977).
Cognitive Distortions are biased and irrational ways of thinking and perceiving which can negatively influence our emotional states, decrease motivation, increase anxiety, and lead to depression and substance abuse.
In 1957 American psychologist Albert Ellis created what he called the ABC Model as part of a therapy he called Rational-Emotive Behavior Therapy, or REBT (Ellis, 1957). Ellis revised the ABC model in 1996 (Ellis, 1996) and again in 2001(Ellis, 2001). REBT was a precursor to what is known as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and is still widely used as a tool in CBT treatment. While it is commonly referred to as the ABC model, it is also called the ABCDE model.
Breathwork offers a wide range of benefits for both physical and mental well-being. Practicing breathwork can help reduce stress and anxiety, improve sleep, and enhance focus and clarity. It can also boost the immune system, improve emotional regulation, and even contribute to pain management.
"Legacy is not leaving something behind for other people. It's leaving something behind in other people." ~ Peter Strople
This workbook is a guided experience to help you explore and align your beliefs, values, and actions so you can live — and leave — a legacy that reflects your truest self. A legacy is the impact one leaves on the world, through their actions, values, and the memories they create. It's not just about possessions or achievements, but the lasting impression on others and the stories they share.
While doing this work, allow yourself to be honest, curious, and kind with what you uncover.
This journey includes breathwork, visualization, reflection, and practical planning.
In psychology, identity refers to an individual's sense of self, encompassing the characteristics, beliefs, and values that define who they are, both personally and in relation to social groups. It's a multifaceted concept that includes personal identity, role identity, social identity, and collective identity. Identity is not static; it evolves throughout life, influenced by personal experiences, social interactions, and cultural contexts.
The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is a metaphor depicting the end of times in the New Testament. They describe conquest, war, hunger, and death respectively. The Gottman Institute uses this metaphor to describe communication styles that, according to our research, can predict the end of a relationship: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling. Discover out the 4 Horsemen and their antidotes.
Based on Dr. Gary Chapman's work, understanding how people give and receive apologies is essential for effective communication and healing in relationships. Individuals have different "apology languages," similar to love languages. Learning and using these languages can help deliver apologies that are heard and accepted. This can foster forgiveness and strengthen connections.
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